The Poetry of Brian William Hayes

=Damaged Goods=

Poetry by Brian William Hayes

I have fertilizer for the seed of love
I wish passage
past those who would say be gone
with my shit

I don't like
spot lights
turn them off
and leave them be
one to many
needs no help
nor hindrance
to pronounce
"free"

sweet fix
sale down the strip
run away quickie
sugar stands, sensual

sweet meat sex
substitutes
satisfy america;
my country

tis of thee
sweet land
of misery

Looking out
windows
upstairs, looking
down there where I
am, sometimes
looking 'round
sometimes
looking in
windows
never looking in
this window I
look out from
down

New York
Neuvo York
tall buildings tall
tales
land of weights and
measures, pleasures
delights
and discourse lively
living, giving and
getting more or
less

all people have
the capacity
in their selves
to excel
which capacity
is manipulated
in contrivances
of rewards
for
abstention
from excellence
in a scheme
derived by
their excellencies

4 Discourses

Delicately delightful discourse distributing discourteously
down drab dung filled furrows filling fluid seas of
serpentine semen sailed upon by undulating Eurasians
dabbling in dreary dreaming

Deadening discourse doing the pain numb with times
tantalizingly turid tundra on the temple's fallow flows
revealing rapturous rages of remorse

Deceitful discourse ferociously flaying fearful flesh
flourishing in need of nevermore

Discourteous discourse of unknowns blissfully lost ways
wearisome wanderings wonderment

Beyond dimensional awareness lies
composured places of vivid visions vanish beyond perception
enclosing conceptions in inconceivably contained coronary convulsions
too few to fare those who are there
so fair in the mirror lies
lies between
the wink and the why of where lingering longer lazier
in time traps supposed and disposed of consciously
carnivals of good and bad glad and similar
keeping the beat
rythmic heart repeats
of sensual self negation
tail sucking snail in slimy
silence breached intrusively by bellowed breaths
betraying living death's secret survival
in a timeless time of the fear
of the absence of the fear

render me
the space between
the mirror
and me

exaspirations through dissipations of energy into wasted
assertions of considerations are
the act of contemplating in the act of contemplating
the realizing is all that's realized
while actors perched in balcony views
applaud their entrances curiously of the delay
hold silent tongues
that anxious ears might better hear them speak
passion swells in absence of its own
as death is forced another inglorious
victory
dulling her depths with drab

I find what I find
perceptualy;
animated failure to perceive persons'
presence comfortably,
confines
what I find
conceptually

Crazy
after long and arduous endeavor
we proclaim
there is no singularity too to
our fee
please
and
thank you

gorgeous guilt
riddling writhling
ridding a riding guilt
gone without repentance

"one two three four"
open up another door
look behind the why what for of once more
from before you opened the door to nevermore
to return to the lures of laughter's lies
why's tries withering in want of where
no more
to return the truth of telling
of the sea to the seas

between the shores of mysterious
malice and mountain majesties
mazes lie of doors
between me and the sea
one two three four
open open another yet another
door

it's not
a choice of matter
it's really not
a
matter of choice
at all

Jack
I like it most
to be
say on a mountain top
with the wind and the chill
what a thrill
no one to kill

it's just that

Jill
Jill
Jill
(calling)

TOBEIT

what is done
is damned little
to do with doing
what is to be done
to be
it is as if at once
I was without
wanderings
unduly desirous of deeds
of diminishing anguish

evasive epoch of the age
awry on
air wings high
arousal in light fantastic
fruition of life's endeavor to learn
how to love
to fly to die to two
too shy to try to do
away with the night that would delay
day almighty epoch
of the age
dabbling in deference
defeating deposition
leaving rancid carcasses
flaring the nostrils bringing one to
the epoch of the age
light and short
yet overwrought with feeling
reeling thoughts around and a
round appears symbolic
though not quite
a cross to bare
to reveal the evasive
epoch of the age

aspirations arising
city life stagnant
defeats disclosure and exposure
too hungry
minds trying to get through
another day
another night
in a continuum of not
booze pills pot
distract the mind numb the brain
barely
go insane
be alone
don't refrain
it's a train they would say
all a bored
I see the tracks clickety clacks
I hear
no one near
for fear of endearment beyond
the lament of the cement

of breasts and penises
protrusions of a kind
remind me that
I am

just passing through
excuse me I'm
just passing through
a shuffle a shove

fondle feel
delicately observe
delight
in the light reflected there in space

alone
and what was there
what is there now
to fear?
alone again

on my way
there
isn't any time to go to
anything but
there for

she waits for me
there, and waits
and awaits for me
where

I am going
now
I am gone

of hell, as it concerns
the immediate milieu
it strikes terror
in human beings
who, by way of this terror are
manipulated according to
too arbitrarily derived laws
concerning
damnable acts

return to none
the ceremonial loss of life
for it is the severing
of the attachment to life
rendering it unlivable

return to revelation
this perennial birth of babes
return to that place of inducement
minds of color corrupted
to the moment of conception
lost

how do you?
express incoherence
coherently?

do from about shout away say
day may can I buy, tie my cries
hear bird song gong ding a ling
ring thing day say hey far star
to you blue who loves me
see try why and fan sky lie
die

A COUPLE OF DING A LINGS

rambling sing song wrong
live give cry die wrong
light gong ding a ling dong
long time born
a day far away
lay a childe
a beast amilde
of dove love revo-evolution
ramblin song sung wrong
wrong song all along

sentence: solitary
in padding
and brass bar
for having said I do not want to be
alone

for the sake of continuity repetition is
conceded, simplicity
is the opression of longevity

in their screaming
the gods in their dreaming
cry their dids
and die their didn'ts

one two three or many
no matter true
and there's things to do
the fruits of folly to reap
tea to steep

little do we know
what
we know
we know

eye scream
for ice cream
the junkie in a child's eye
bold sometimes
ever ravenous

ENJOY YOURSELF
for, as a citizen
you are responsible
, in part,
for locking up thousands of men
and women
to make the world safe
for you
to do so
so do so

listen
sky trite talker
don't expect foot walkers
to see you, who
stand behind their eyes

The rare red
peace
of the slaughtered
sacrifice
shall saturate the sacred soil
no more

looking down
at the eclairs
all lined up like little coffins
I drift into fantasies of eclair soldiers
refined sugar, refined flour
starch on the march
feed them only enough to die for
god and country get them used
to energy blasts for blitzes
and
it's not so much us
you see
but the children
you see
oh say cain't you see
the children

I am innocent and guilty
of nothing

I am evil
as a lamb chewing
flowers in the garden

AH WISDOM
to understand the great
big
prevailing misunderstanding

THE WELFARE STATE AT WAR

look you here
all you people
of the country
we bring you sustenance
we give you shelter
we protect you
we show you the way
what to say
we give you
clothing and caring
fun
(and a gun)

only
when I feel the once
before of never
could, can I see
surely can

a poem
for those not written
for those visions beyond
sight
as well as those written and seen
and lost
at such a cost
"dearly beloved"
I feel as thee it is
"a cup of tea"

MOM and DAD
all their faults
are but stones in my path
their strength
is the path
I walk on

my heart
my heart
for lack of a better word
ever is

An artist is someone who knows
where to draw the line

REIGN FALL
reign fall
reign fall
all around the merry go
up and down
round and round
what new laws the makers make?

overwhelmed in the presence
of composure and beauty
I resist reaction
yet
not refuse relation
ships sunken

SUICIDE NOTE

I am comfortable
I am healthy
I have everything to live
for what

I am intimately occuring
right
before your very eyes

DRAGON WATCH

hero and heroin
and a woman
continuing to create new
and exciting
rolls and butter
it is a mere matter of logistics
to be a participant
after of course
an initial impetus
upon which moment of
becoming
there lies truth, disbanded
legions of demons done
with whatever it was
that was not worth
doing, while
I gaze out my window
and watch and wait
and await a dragon

I am
a man of peaceful force
should I
venture a opinion
though
I would
advocate to those not used
to force
to force

VALENTINE

pungent putrid odor
of people
impaled upon lances
of love's languish

as appearances prevail as

animated animosities negating
lies are perpetuated
and perpetual pain persists
in the hollow of the soul

FOR WOMEN & GIRLS

foxy friends are fine, but
just touch them
and
they are tramps
respect goes no further
than the eye
and
female flesh
is vile as the innocence
is fractured in the minds
of boys begotten
among men
and sensual
women suffer
senselessly

MARRIAGE
dumb dumb da dumb
dumb dumb da dumb

I see a man in
a cell
the cell some
mortar or concrete
cube
on the far wall
a bunk is he lies
serenely luminous in
a ray of light through the window
the bars bent, back
again

either mind what you say
or mean it

a page turned
a sage?
a page burned
a rage?
not necessarily
so?

I sometime am
frightened
with a fear
that can be stayed
but not stilled

babies babies
sounds like rabies
babies

seen truly y'know
the world scene
buy an idiot with a red baloon
might be the world
seen truly y'know

SEAMS
alone
it seems so hard to be
alone

flirtins fine
though
it's kind of
like looking at wine

'IN' HUMOR

here I am surrounded
by despair rejected
at every turn, do I succumb?
I embrace it, I am lonely
broken and distraught, desperate
humiliated
defeated in endeavor, altered
in course, time is a burden
will I live? unfortunately
yes, I am frightened by death,
it may be worse
my life is my curse

BIG FISH
whale whale
whale

wail
Pinocchio, oh Jonah

ANSWER:
you who are oblivious to the obvious
I have no time for you

QUESTION:
do you solely wish to trouble me
or
is there purpose to this bother?

another poem
hum
but to beat the drum? no
too dumb

a million many stories
I have begun

bewitched
befuddle
beset

all that I might have
finished one

people have said to me "let me be"
and when I let them be
they would not let me be
me
letting them be

it is my constant failing
to love
what might possibly be,
fleeting tickles, traces of fancies
we are not certain we
see, not yets
and yet

perpetuate privacy
adovcate availability
and prevail

sorry if I touched you
water dream pleasure
people
sorry for feeling
freely
your foolishness, I try
in my manner, clumsily
tripping
tangle toed by
just to be close

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